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Wed April 10, 2013
6 classic Brother Jed rants
For about 10 years now, "Brother Jed" Smock has been spreading a hellfire-and-damnation style Christian message in college campuses all around the country.
But Columbia was his home base and he could often be found at Speaker's Circle, yelling at young couples holding hands, denigrating non-Christians, and shouting hateful things about homosexuals. After years of tireless work, Brother Jed has decided to move to Indiana, his home state.
The Maneater has a nicely balanced read on Brother Jed's controversial place in Columbia/MU culture. In it, Brother Jed says,
"My main message is Jesus's first public message: the time is fulfilled, the kingdom of heaven is at hand, repent and believe the gospel," Smock said.
This, of course, highly undersells Brother Jed's accomplishments. His message was much more exciting, profound, and hateful than all that. He'll be gone, but he won't be forgotten. Here are some of his more memorable moments. (Warning, Jed can get a little NSFW)
- "Rock and roll is wicked, depraved and diabolical"
- Skeptics, "homos", Muslims and Buddhists are all going to hell
This is not the most controversial of his rants. But his body language and intonation are all pretty on the mark. It's some old school preachery.
- "A masturbator today is a homosexual tomorrow"
"A masturbator today is a homosexual tomorrow" - Brother Jed
— Margy C (@duckpolice911) April 8,
This is a common thread. Masturbation and homosexuality are the salt and pepper of campus preaching.
- "My wife goes from kitchen to bedroom, kitchen to bedroom"
Brother Jed doesn't even have to order her to do this. Much.
Relevant section starts at 2:10.
- Things that Brother Jed knows about breasts
First among these aphorisms, is "When there's a baby, the baby gets first dibbies on the..." (you fill out the rest)
- The Gay Song, or, "It's not ok to be gay"
This is the classic to end all classics! Brother Jed has sung this catchy, highly requested, extremely offensive tune all over the country.
Song starts around 1:10
Thanks to The Zou Feed for the photograph at the top which I think really captures what Brother Jed is all about.